Ted Movie Review

While much of his stuff tends to drawl on the same beat and the same style of humor, Seth MacFarlane is a funny man with good ideas. His first shot at directing went remarkably well. The movie, Ted is about a teddy-bear that comes to life at the wish of a young boy, Bretton Manley who grows up to be John Bennet played by Mark Wahlberg (Four Brothers, The Fighter, Contraband). In the beginning, Ted – voice-acted by Seth MacFarlane (Crank Yankers, Robot Chicken, The Family Guy/Cleveland Show/AmericanDad) – is a hit. John’s parents react to the possession of their child’s teddy-bear appropriately with screams of terror. The doll shows up eagerly on the Letterman Show. “I thought you’d be taller,” says Letterman. “I thought you’d be funnier!” Ted responds. But as John and the doll grow older, people seem to care less. John ends up engaged to Lori Collins, Mila Kunis (That 70’s Show, Black Swan, Date Night) who – after being harassed by her boss, Rex, Joel McHale (Community, The Soup, What’s Your Number?) – begins to feel that John’s productivity is limited while he’s still immersed with his childhood teddy-bear. By immersed, I mean getting high and drinking a lot of booze. John decides to tell Ted to get a job and find his own place so Ted grudgingly begins his search. After landing a job at a grocery store and hooking up with Tammy-Lynn, Jessica Barth (Out of Balance, Next, Mr. Blue Sky), a stalker – Giovanni Ribisi (Friends, The Rum Diary, Avatar) and his son, Aedin Mincks (Faster, The Hangover Part II, The Middle) begin to follow Ted as the two have been obsessed with the bear since the fame of his early life. After ducking one of Lori’s work parties to spend time with Ted and their childhood hero, Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon, This Wife for Hire, Conan), John gets in deep relationship trouble. He swears off Ted forever before Ted’s stalkers find and kidnap him. Once you get over the fact that Ted has no lungs and brain to damage with drugs, and no bone structure with which to run, stand, or even fight, Ted is a decent movie. Some of the humor is so reminiscent to Family Guy that it’s almost like watching Peter Griffin as a teddy bear, but it still has an enjoyable and semi-original story-line. A shout-out to Patrick Warburton (The Tick, Action Hero, Family Guy) who plays Guy – John’s friend, Nora Jones – one of Ted’s ex-lovers, and Patrick Stewart (Star-Trek: Next Generation, X-Men/X-2/X-Men: The Last Stand, American Dad) for narrating the movie. Ted is not a movie for kids, so parents who are considering the movie for children should pick something else.

4 Stars (3.95)
– Benjamin Allen